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Just another day.... |
D,
My life isn't perfect.....but it's beautiful. Thanks to Yasmin Ahmad, again....yg tidak sempurna itu adalah kecantikan. Musibah adalah hikmah...blessing in disguise. Ketika hatiku hancur, ada pula jari jemari insan-insan yg mengutip serpihan hati ini & mencantumkannya semula.
Thanks for the emails, thanks for the sms, thanks for the phone calls. Allah meminjamkan ku 1 hari lagi utk bernafas di muka bumi Nya. 1 tahun berlalu & aku menyingkap hari-hari muda yg telah ku lalui & memandang hari-hari tua ku yg bakal aku titi. Bak kata Kiah, one step & one day at a time. Ya Allah, aku bersyukur dgn segala nikmat yg telah Kau berikan pada ku. Aku tidak kesal akan musibah yg melanda kerana aku tahu Kau mendengar keluhan ku, Kau mendengar tangis ku. Aku yakin Kau sentiasa bersama ku. Dan aku pasti Kau tidak akan mensia-siakan ku.
Tidak, aku tidak murung, tidak marah, tidak berkecil hati. Alhamdulillah. Cuma sedih namun sekejap sahaja, Allah menggantikan perasaan itu dgn perasaan halus & memberi ruang utk mengasah akal supaya tajam akan realiti kehidupan yg sementara ini. Semuanya berlaku dgn izin Allah. Terimalah dgn redha. Jgn pernah ada perasaan serik, kerana ia akan membunuh jiwa. Berilah dgn setulus hati "bismillahirrahmanirrahiim", "lillah ta'ala" "alhamdulillahirrabbil a'lamiin", jgn diungkit & mengungkit, tidak perlu berkeras utk mempertahankan diri. Move on.....
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posted by pinkiecutepie # 13:39 #
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DEWI |
D,
Tired...lack of sleep, but having loads of fun. Let me backtrack......
Watched Dewi last Wed nite. Just because Linda, geng ngaji said my teacher would be on tv. I didn't regret watching it. But I find the Rima & Nura too much. Too cute, hmm...I can't describe, tapi ter-over laaa.
I like the interview with Yasmin Ahmad...haa!!! Itulah wanita Melayu. I find her inner beauty so menyerlah, one. Macam Sarimah....like when she acted that teledrama based on novel.....now what is it called?...Rindu Madinah? Inilah agaknya yg dikatakan cahaya orang yg ingatkan Allah? There's something about Yasmin....geez, suddenly I fall in love with her laa...macam my love for Oprah.
I love it when she said, mulakan dgn Bismillahirrahmannirrahiim......sungguh aku sokong! MasyaAllah! And one more - yg tak sempurna itulah kecantikan. Hai, Yasmin kalaulah dia start ala Oprah show, mesti banyak peminat!!!!!
Back to my teacher, Tanya. I've registered @ Beadhub & had completed my 1st course last week. Just last Thursday, I've completed my 2nd course & InsyaAllah, I'll be attending my 3rd course with her next week. I had so much fun & had made necklace & bracelet using pearls, 4 bracelets & 1 necklace using beads. My coursemates are a wonderful bunch of people. There was Mei, who lives in Tuscany. She returns to S'pore about 2-3 times a year & conducts course on glass making. Tanya went for the course & we got to see her finished product. I'm looking forward to attend Mei's next class. Then, there's Sherry, a model. She designs jewellery & can work with any budget on semi precious stones. I've seen her work, it's so beautiful & not so expensive. She's very generous with her knowledge & I'm sure, she'll become a successful businesswoman one day. Orang-orang ni semua dah pro tapi tak lokek & tak sombong.
I'm glad I take up the courses with Tanya. Through her, I learn to string pearls the professional way, the skills of weaving all sorts of beads into costume jewellery...hey, I thought it was never my cup of tea. Gradually, I've gained courage to grow again. My heartfelt thanks to my other half for supporting me. So right now, I'm very busy weaving with Linda. I admire her work. She doesn't go for any courses, she just learned from books & made beautiful brooch, bracelets and rings. She teaches me, too. In return, I teach her what I've learned from the courses & bought her some magazines so that we can come up with new designs to our collection.
A few nights ago, I faced an ugly situation. I was shocked & very, very sad. Aku dituduh bedek, menipu, ada hidden agenda, taking advantage, menggunakan wang utk meraih persahabatan. Hanya Allah sahaja yg tahu. Aku cuba mententeramkan keadaan yg tiba-tiba hangat dgn api kemarahan. Namun sia-sia sahaja....dia membuat keputusan "to lead our lives in our own ways."
I called Kiah. She asked if I said or answered any messages that might offended this person. I said no, unless this person misinterprets my text. She told me to cool..I was never angry or hurt when this person turned me down. I understood the whole situation. In fact until today, aku tak dapat membalas segala kebaikannya terhadap ku. Aku bukanlah "kawan makan kawan". I was very shocked & very sad.....that's all.
He saw me cried while I was weaving my bracelet. I sobbed so hard. He said, tidak apa yg boleh aku buat sekarang, biarkanlah ia berlalu. He reminded me what I should do. Wallahi, tidak pernah aku punya niat buruk setitik pun, apalagi terhadap orang-orang yg telah menabur budi kpd ku. Tapi, apakan daya aku bila keterangan ku ditolak bulat-bulat. Aku terima dgn redha. Namun musibah ini tidak akan mematahkan semangat ku utk terus menjalin persahabatan dgn insan-insan yg lain.
Kiah, Az, Tipah, Leha, Catlover, InanG, JunG, Petom - if at anytime aku lupa diri, tolonglah ingatkan aku bahawa aku ni manusia biasa - a nobody, terlalu kerdil. Marah lah, tampar lah, aku tak kisah. Dunia ini terlalu luas & kita hidup bermasyarakat. Just remind me where I belong...pulang ke tanah juga akhirnya.
Allah saja yg tahu.
I love you, Allah. Thank you, Allah.
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posted by pinkiecutepie # 08:07 #
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Briyani...sana & sini |
D,
Beware....this weekend is the invasion of Briyani!!!
No laa. Biasalah, kan. Kalo sambut Maulud jerk, mesti lantak Briyani. Purata seluruh S'pura nyer nasi amal mesti Briyani. Semalam, Beydah gi kenduri cukur rambut-cum-maulud.....Briyani. Yg best skali was Aunt Yah buat pacri mangga!!!! Fooooyoooo- outtadisworld, beb!!!! Dapat tapau pacri mangga, lagik! Then hari nie, jualan nasi amal Masjid Khadijah yg memang terkenal for it's Briyani.....saper lagik kalo bukan resepi Ust Ali.
Dah lama tak buat kuih Melayu. Sekali dah buat, macam tak moh berhenti. Semalam buatkan aunt Yah Bingka Ubi. Next weekend aunt Ley pesan 10 tin brownies & 600-800 pcs of Apam Harum Manis. Haiz, rindu pulak...nak buat Puteri Salad, Talam Beras, Talam Suji & his fave, Talam Su'un. Macam gini, membuak lerr badan.
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posted by pinkiecutepie # 07:04 #
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Tired on a Tuesday |
D,
I'm so tired...so drained, but not complaining coz I saw the sign!!!! Ehk, macam lagu Ace For Base pulak!!! Nah, I'm exhausted, but I'm ok....kan, Allah, kan??? Alhamdulillahirabbila'lamiin.........
Saturday - Hey, Tipah...tak yah gi Abak Briyani. Jorang dah pindah kat Jlm Pisang. Anyways, tak power sangat laa....Aku rasa Briyani kat Hamid Stall @ Geylang tuh lagi sedap.
With shopping coupons, we went to Cold storage @ Bugis. We raided the place. Since Tipah couuldn't attend kuliah with ustz Rock, tercongok laa aku sowang-sowang tanpa geng lepakz. Aiyoh...so bingitz..sebelah aku ada 1 akak nie.....jadi microphone pung yer, jadi loudspeaker pun yer...she just couldn't shut up....ketawa terbahak-bahak is one thing, but haiz..takper laaa.
Since terlalu kenyang, we skipped dinner. Makan epok-epok jerk.
Sunday - after sending the boys, we went to Fig & Olive....finally!!! Erm...sodap & konyang. The best part, tak sibokz, takder owang - good place to unwind. The service is restaurant style,laa....Yg sedihnya, same-same Melayu, tapi cakiap omputih!!!! Salah aku jugak ah...ok lain kali aku nak cakap style bahasa menunjukkan bangsa. Order food tak agak-agak....tapi best jugak ley tapau kasi kanakz-kanakz jamah. Lain kali boleh bawak jorang fine dining kat sana.
Hm...apa yg aku dah buat sampai penat, nie? For sure kurang tidur, pulak tuh semalam kelam-kabut whole day. I learned something new & interesting yesterday. I guess it's mental fatigue.
Lermekk....cuaca mendong beb.....aku ingat nak gi makan Nasi Rawon or Nasi Jengganan for breakfast dgn member. Our boys attend same tuition place & session together. Tengoklah..kalo tak hujan.
Leha....thanks for yr endless support. Aku bersyukur Allah temukan kita. Semoga hari-hari akhir kami berkesudahan dlm rahmat Allah. Amin.
I love you, Allah.
Thank you, Allah.
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posted by pinkiecutepie # 08:46 #
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S.E.X. |
D,
Ada owang tuh kan......boleh dia compare something so suci is better than sex??? Ko memang!!!!!! Tapi kan, aku paham...gasak ko laaa, labi.....lepakz ah ko!!! No, my dear Watson, my brownies...anything chocolate is BETTER than sex. But anyways, chocolate memainkan peranan penting dlm kegiatan sex. Harlo......this is research aah...jgn korang ingat aku nie suddenly desperado housewife pulak!!!
Just the other day, geng yoga had their session. They're now advanced to intermediate level. Then there was a position which needed concentration sampai berpeluh-peluh mereka dibuatnya. Then after the session one of them said - penat sey, kalah org main!!!! abiz lutut aku sumer lengoh, peluh melimpah-limpah...wei dahsyat!!!!!! Apa lagi.......riuh sekampung dibuatnya....ish mencarut betol!!!!! Damn lepakz ah jorang, cute.
Semalam jumpa Kiah kat JC Complex. Apa lagi, kemaruk buku laa. Aku rasa macam itu jam jugak aku nak beli each of Dr Aidh Al Qarni's books. Tapi dah tak tahu mana nak letak. My existing bookshelves dah penuh. Masih ada banyak buku yg tak tersusun...dah tak ada tempat. Seems now, Fidel's into reading mood all over again. Siaplaa...sini novel, situ novel. Iz kidnapped Fidel's Dan Brown's Angels & Demons....finished it in 4 days. Now Id is getting started. Heh....looks like the dad has to wait for his turn much later.
I should have bought lots of Malay books long time ago. Better late than never, I think I'll start now. Just the other day, ustz Salbiah mentioned nak buat excursion to Indonesia utk mengenali lebih lanjut tentang Prof Hamka, Dia nak bawa remaja bersama. come to think of it, I miss reading Malay literature. OK..set....tak lama lagi, kocek ku akan ber-kaching-kaching!!!! I'm gonna raid the Malay bookshops.
The children's schedule are running smoothly....Yahoo!!!! I've my me time all over again. Boleh dash sana-sini. Like today, InsyaAllah boleh temankan member beli barang nak buat costume jewellery. At the same time, tengah research what kind of job can I do during my free time. Yup....I'm thinking of going back to the workforce. Meanwhile I'm helping my member to jumpstart her business. And I really want to go back to my baking mode...lepas duit utk beli buku pun jadilah.
Aku angkat banner tinggi-tinggi......CHOCOLATE IS BETTER THAN SEX .
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posted by pinkiecutepie # 07:30 #
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Wednesday, April 05, 2006 | |
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Finally.....! |
D,
Finally, Oprah's in S'pore!!!!! On TCS5, that is. Now I don't have to watch most of the rerun programs on StarWorld. What a waste!!!!!! Oprah has been on air since 1875 (as she always claim) dah nak pencen, barulah sekarang nak beli program Oprah. Tak per lah, better late than never. Hm...can I do without Oprah? Geez, I don't know. Perhaps it's a belssing in diguise si TCS5 beli program Oprah. I've been missing her 9am & 1pm slots in StarWorld. So weekdays 6pm is a good timing indeed. And if I can't watch, I can tape it.....heng sotong! Nasib baik...I missed the interview with JonBonJovi in StarWorld, I got to watch it yesterday. Ain't he a nice man??? Awwww.....!!!!!
Si Tipah sms-ed me yesterday morning. Dia mimpi aku sakit. So when I called her, she told me about her dreams. Hai...Tipah, dalam mimpi ponG ko boleh advertise, eh? Sungguh-sungguh suruh aku telan Panadol Extra!!!!!! Lepakz ah ko!!!!! Actually, I miss yakking with her. Because we didn't have time to yak during kuliah. Kalo dulu sempat melencong after kuliah. Now takder chance!!!!! So, finally we yakked the whole morning.
She finally got it!!! Best, kan Tipah. Nak lagi, kan Tipah??? One thing about Tipah - I told her about my experience & I said one day, she'll get it. When she got it, she remembered what I told her & she really absorbed the whole experience. Yes.....nothing else matters. That is the best-est thing in life. When you get that, you didn't mind the pain, it's all worth it. Kan, Tipah? Kehebatan cinta Allah kpd umatnya. Barulah kita faham bagaimana keadaan umat mencintai Allah & RasulNya & kita tidak mahu kehilangan cinta itu. Perhaps I'll go into details in another entry, bila aku dah load gambar Masjid Nabawi.
Semalam takder kuliah dgn ust Briyani Power due to maulid. Apa lagi.....zoom to Gelare for the 1/2 price waffles. Hm....diam tak diam....dah berzaman kita makan kat Gelare - since Iz 9 or 10 yrs old!!!! That means.....5 tahun!!!!! Me & my choc. overload. Siglap has always been my fave spot - be it KFC, Pizza Hut, Gelare or Video Ezy, Shell Petrol station where I get my Ben & Jerry's icecream & the mamak shop @ Siglap Centre with his up to date magazines from US & Europe, sometimes aku gi Borders tak jumpa magazine yg aku cari, kat kedai mamak nie jugak tercongok di depan mata!!!
Tengah baca Malam Pertama Di Alam Kubur. Hebat sungguh waktu wafatnya para muslimin & mukminin. Aku berdoa setiap hari agar aku mati dlm Islam, mendapat husnul khatimah. Kiah selalu melafazkan yg dia ingin hari-hari akhirnya di Mekah atau Madinah. Dlm diam, aku juga berdoa agar hari-hari akhirku di sana juga. Sewaktu di sana pada masa yg singkat, rasanya aku tidak mahu pulang. Walaupun suami & anak-anak menanti, tanggungjawab menunggu. Seronoknya kurang tidur, bangun dinihari, melangkah ke masjid ketika langit masih gelap gelita cuma cahaya lampu yg terang-benderang mengarahkan laluan kami ke sana. Beriktikaf di Madinah bersama Rasulullah, beriktikaf di Mekah merenung Kaabah. Zalim & hinanya aku seorang manusia, namun Allah menjemput ku ke sana. Memberi peluang utk memutihkan semula kain yg telah ku nodai dgn berbagai najis.
Serulah aku, panggillah aku lagi, Ya Allah. Jemputlah aku lagi ke sana. Aku merindui Nabawi, aku merindui Masjidil Haram. Pandanglah aku Ya Rabb....bawalah aku ke sana. Izinkan aku memutihkan semula kain ku yg sudah kotor ini. Amin.
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posted by pinkiecutepie # 07:00 #
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the Heat Is on.... |
D,
Fidel just returned from Washington. As usual I love looking at the photos. It's the Cherry Blossom season there!!!! So beautiful. I think junG will love to look at the photos, too.
Haa...guess what!!!! Stock up on Victoria Secret laa!!!!! 1 bottle of body Bath costs USD5...He bought 1 dozen in his cabin bag. Yup.....he brought only 1 miserable cabin bag!!!! URGH!!!!!!! Yg 1 dozen tuh aku kene share dgn sisters dia, pasal jorang kirim. Aku tak kirim tapi dapat lebih..neyneyneyneyney!!!!! Can you imagine kalo aku ikotz dia??? 2 check-in bag ponG tak cukup!!!!
Yes, D...I know, tuh gambar Dubai I lom load lagik! Malasz banget!!!!!
Okies, back to reality...gedebuk aku terjatuh ke alam yg nyata. The heat is on....hotter than ever. Sometimes I just wanna give up. Just when I'm letting myself down, there are people around me who won't let me melt away. So I can't disappoint them, right? I mean if they care about me, it's cruel of me not caring about myself. I don't want to see their efforts wasted. So here I go again......
Just the other day, I spoke to Has. Kept telling me not to give up....whatever it is....she believes things will be ok.....So ok laa, I know all these people are right & I know they love me.
I love you, Allah.
Thank you, Allah.
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posted by pinkiecutepie # 08:01 #
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PINKIE HEARS |
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PINKIE SHARES |
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I'tiraf
Wahai Tuhan
Ku tak layak
Ke SyurgaMu
Namun tak pula
Aku sanggup
Ke NerakaMu
Ampunkan dosaku
Terimalah taubatku
Sesungguhnya
Engkaulah Pengampun
Dosa-dosa besar
Dosa-dosaku
Bagaikan pepasir
Di pantai
Dengan rahmatMu
Ampunkan daku
Oh Tuhanku
Wahai Tuhan
Selamatkan kami ini
Dari segala
Kejahatan & kecelakaan
Kami takut
Kami harap
KepadaMu
Suburkanlah
Cinta kami
Kepada Mu
Kamilah hamba
Yg mengharap
Belas dariMU
Penantian By Harmoni
Berapa lama mesti ku nanti
Sinar cahaya mata mu
Gemerlap bagai bintang
Menghiasi malam
Malam yg menutup diriku
Berapa lama perlu ku tunggu
Lontaran suara dari bibirmu
Memecah hening taman
Taman syurgawi
Pada sebuah hati yg sepi
Penantian suatu siksa
Yg tidak tertanggung
Oleh tubuh ku yg kering & layu
Kepastian suatu penwar
Dlm suka & duka
Yg meniti hidup ku
Doa By Harmoni
Tuhan ku
Dlm termangu
Ku sebut nama Mu
Biar susah sungguh
Mengingat Mu penuh seluruh
Tuhan ku
Cahaya Mu
Panas suci bagai kerdip lilin
Di kelam sunyi
Tuhan ku
Aku hilang bentuk
Kembara di negeri asing
Tuhan ku
Pintu Mu ku ketuk
Aku tak bisa berpaling
Nasyid By Hidayah
Kepada Mu Ilahi
Yg Maha Agung Yg Maha Suci
Ku pohon perlindungan
Dan keampunanMu
Pada setiap sholat
Ku lafazkan doa & pujian
Kukuhkanlah taqwaku & keimanan
Semoga diriku diselamatkan
Dari segala bencana
Limpahilah diriku dgn sinar penuh kemuliaan
Agar tidak digoda syaitan
Yg sungguh durjana peruntuh akhlak
Inilah doa seorang insan
Mohon perlindungan
The Reason
Hoobastank
The Reason
I'm not a perfect person
There are many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you
I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
That's why I need you to hear
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you
I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you
I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you
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