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Wednesday, January 11, 2006 | |
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Life changes |
D,
We all go through some life changing moments. As I sit & type my entry for today, I turned back over my past, I'm looking at myself today. What does the future hold? Wallahualambisawab.
Ah....but I appreciate the blessings Allah pours on me every single day. Despite the harsh surroundings, I'm still able to pass through the thorns of life. Alhamdulillah. I appreciate the unsung heroes who are always there for me. I know that I shall be going through hard times in the near future, but hey, that's not new at all.
Somehow, I'm feeling pessimistic today. Don't know why. Might be the dream I had last night. You see, whenever I had strange dreams, unpleasant things happened. It may take days, weeks or months for me to relate those incidents that appeared in my dreams. The dream is still bothering me now.
There's a little voice in me telling me to start standing on my own 2 feet. There's this urge of wanting to go back to work again after talking to my friend. Come to think of it, there'll be small obstacles to pass through. The boys are big enough. They're reliable & don't need me 24/7.
I was told I've to think far, to see to my needs. She said, I'm skating on very thin ice. I must protect myself. She's 100% correct. At the end of the day, no matter how highly educated the woman is, she's still at a loss. Like another friend said, men are the bigest cheaters, but you found out when it's too late coz you're already married to him. Thus, women must be smart. Now I remember the exact words my cikgu said. This was way back in sec. sch. Gosh....! Why the hell did I ignore her advice?!? Stupid Idiot!!!!! I know I can't turn back time. There's no use sitting & sighing - regretting or kick my own butt!
I did get some lightbulb moments today - through ST & rerun on Oprah show. I know that there are some life changing moments that we must go through. There are major sacrifices we have to make. My heart is beating so fast now. This is not good. Ineed to sidetrack, otherwise I'll be nuts.
Last Saturday, ustz continued with Samudera AlFatiha. The book mentioned about the 9 planets, the distance, the weight, the speed of light......so many instances to show Allah's greatness. Ustz said, kalau nak tahu siapakah orang yg kuat imannya, adalah org-org yg ahli dlm ilmu falak. Sesungguhnya, yg kafir telah mempengaruhi manusia bahawa segala penemuan dlm kajian mereka adalah dari kebijaksaan mereka. Walhal, semua ilmu yg terdapat adalah milik Islam kerana semua keterangan ada di dlm AlQuran. Kita cuma membaca, tapi tak faham - tak belajar tafsirannya. Ustz menekankan, tahun lepas riuh tentang penemuan planet ke 10. Tidak jadi hairan
, sebab dlm AlQuran surah Yusuf ada penjelasan -inni ra aitu ahada 'asyara kaukaban wasyamsa wal qamara ra aituhu lii sajidiin -sesungguhnya aku bermimpi melihat 11 bintang & matahari serta bulan, semuanya kulihat sujud kpd ku.
Jadi tak hairanlah, sudah tertulis dlm AlQuran, zaman Nabi Yusuf, baginda telah bermimpi akan 11 planet. Bayangkanlah......sekarang dah ada 10 planet, kalau sudah sempurna 11 planet........mungkin itulah kiamat???? Ustz juga menekankan, Nabi Muhammad wafat hanya setelah Islam itu sempurna, isi AlQuran sudah sempurna - maka tugas Baginda sudah selesai - yakni sudah tiba masa Baginda wafat. Jadi apa lagi, yg kita tunggu? Masa yg berlalu tak akan kembali. Betul kata ustz, kalau boleh tak nak tinggalkan sejadah.
Dlm forum di masjid AnNadhah, ust mengsyorkan para pemimpin keluarga jadikan pergi ke masjid setiap minggu sebagai aktiviti keluarga. Ajak isteri & anak meluangkan masa di masjid. Masjid adalah tempat kita mendapat ketenangan dari hiruk-pikuk dunia. Kisah dunia tidak akan pernah habis. Ianya berkesudahan apabila kita mati. Jadi bila kita hendak ingat akan Allah, berkomunikasi dgn Allah?
Aku baru sedar, betapa rindunya aku dgn ustz rock. I enjoyed her class. Sekarang dah bab rukun iman....wei dah banyak aku miss, ni kene baca from the start!!!! I needed some miracle......I got lightbulb moments from her.
Pada 9 Zulhijjah selepas Isya' ust masih menekankan peri pentingnya kita mengingati Allah, beriktikaf dlm masjid bersama keluarga, memakmurkan masjid. Khutbah pada sholat AidilAdha pula, ust mengingatkan para jemaah akan tanggungjawab ibubapa terhadap anak, tanggungjawab individu memakmurkan Islam.
Terngiang-ngiang takbir pada 9 & 10 Zulhijjah. Syahdunya hingga tak terkawal linangan airmata. Alhamdulillah, kesempatan yg Allah beri - anak dah besar, so no excuse tak sholat jemaah pada 2 hari kebesaran Islam. Insya'Allah, I'm looking forward to the next sholat jemaah - 1st Syawal.
Entah mimpi apa......his siblings and family came over to our house....heh ni ganti mil - kiter jadi Along. I'm glad that his sisters look up to him, I'm feeling they love him. Wow....it takes years, I guess as you get older, you realise that family matters. We left home together to visit nenek. Somehow, it wasn't the same. We miss our loved ones who left for haj. But we're glad that they've completed the haj obligations.
Hey.....no more palpitations!!!!! Alhamdulillah. Bismillahirrahmanirrahiim...I love you, Allah. Thank you, Allah.
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posted by pinkiecutepie # 16:49 #
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PINKIE HEARS |
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PINKIE SHARES |
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I'tiraf
Wahai Tuhan
Ku tak layak
Ke SyurgaMu
Namun tak pula
Aku sanggup
Ke NerakaMu
Ampunkan dosaku
Terimalah taubatku
Sesungguhnya
Engkaulah Pengampun
Dosa-dosa besar
Dosa-dosaku
Bagaikan pepasir
Di pantai
Dengan rahmatMu
Ampunkan daku
Oh Tuhanku
Wahai Tuhan
Selamatkan kami ini
Dari segala
Kejahatan & kecelakaan
Kami takut
Kami harap
KepadaMu
Suburkanlah
Cinta kami
Kepada Mu
Kamilah hamba
Yg mengharap
Belas dariMU
Penantian By Harmoni
Berapa lama mesti ku nanti
Sinar cahaya mata mu
Gemerlap bagai bintang
Menghiasi malam
Malam yg menutup diriku
Berapa lama perlu ku tunggu
Lontaran suara dari bibirmu
Memecah hening taman
Taman syurgawi
Pada sebuah hati yg sepi
Penantian suatu siksa
Yg tidak tertanggung
Oleh tubuh ku yg kering & layu
Kepastian suatu penwar
Dlm suka & duka
Yg meniti hidup ku
Doa By Harmoni
Tuhan ku
Dlm termangu
Ku sebut nama Mu
Biar susah sungguh
Mengingat Mu penuh seluruh
Tuhan ku
Cahaya Mu
Panas suci bagai kerdip lilin
Di kelam sunyi
Tuhan ku
Aku hilang bentuk
Kembara di negeri asing
Tuhan ku
Pintu Mu ku ketuk
Aku tak bisa berpaling
Nasyid By Hidayah
Kepada Mu Ilahi
Yg Maha Agung Yg Maha Suci
Ku pohon perlindungan
Dan keampunanMu
Pada setiap sholat
Ku lafazkan doa & pujian
Kukuhkanlah taqwaku & keimanan
Semoga diriku diselamatkan
Dari segala bencana
Limpahilah diriku dgn sinar penuh kemuliaan
Agar tidak digoda syaitan
Yg sungguh durjana peruntuh akhlak
Inilah doa seorang insan
Mohon perlindungan
The Reason
Hoobastank
The Reason
I'm not a perfect person
There are many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you
I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
That's why I need you to hear
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you
I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you
I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you
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